Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Strange Ramblings on Induced Gravity

**The screen fades from black to an image showing a man wearing a suit and smoking jacket. He is sipping from what appears to be a snifter of dark-amber liquor, and sitting on an an oxblood-leather chair, in a darkened office decorated in dark oak wood and richly decorated with bookshelves with leather-bound books and antiques, as though from a bygone era. A fireplace is blazing in the background, and every few minutes it crackles and pops, giving a warm atmosphere - one can almost smell the scent of birch wood burning. He is initially watching the fireplace, but then turns in his chair, as if on cue, smiling widely to the audience.**

"Why hello, you caught me unawares. My name is Peter, yet another member of the Racing 4 Nickels team."

"My friends, the experiences I shared with my fellow teammates Bob, Jonathan, and Patrick at the Joliet Lemons Race last year were exciting and personally fulfilling, which is why I am glad to be a part of the team once more. And while my activities could be better focused on standard racing-type things, such as - oh, I don't know - improving my driving skills, I find it would be more of a challenge and more satisfying to try to develop some form of esoteric technology to fit the needs of the race and the car itself. I was particularly inspired by Bob's last comment about a hybrid-type modification. Very hoontastic, I exclaimed to myself. But, the question is.... can we get much more hoony? In my opinion, yes."

**At this point, the man crosses his legs in the leather chair, placing the brandy snifter down on a mahogany lampstand nearby. He seems to be wearing bunny slippers.**

"I shan't give many details at this point, as the theory behind what I want to do, and indeed, what I, in fact, desire to do, remain undefined. That being said, whatever it is I am going to do, will be, by necessity, scientific in nature. Perhaps even... something having to do with this image here."

"Whatever the heck it is I am doing, the only question I have at this point is how to let a Lorentzian manifold flap in the breeze. Or, maybe I'll chuck it all and just make 'Moar Bier.'"

"Tah, peoples."

**The camera returns its focus on the fireplace, and then fades to black.**


  1. What the...?!?

    I always wanted a fireplace in the office! :)

  2. More napkin drawings in the future. And the past, if my experiments work.

  3. So what are the odds of this device destroying the fabric of space and time?

  4. If my calculations are correct, then zero percent. Or, if my calculations are incorrect, one-hundred percent.

  5. I don't think those were logs burning in the fireplace when you wrote this, Pete... :)