Thursday, December 1, 2011

1989 Oldmobile commercials

This week Murilee Martin wrote about a junkyard 1989 Oldsmobile Toronado he found.  While reading it I watched the Ad for the car and found a rather odd theme for their ad campaign that year.

Before I get into the theme I will start with how they launched the 89 model year with ads.  While most people think it was a bad ad campaign you can't really say it wasn't affective since people remember it even though the car company hasn't existed in several years.

Now that was a start but how do you advertise the cars.  Well the people at Oldsmobile decided you should put famous people's children in the car.  In some ways it makes sense cause it is not their fathers oldsmobile, but not all famous people were equal.

We'll start with the Cutlass Ciera with one of the least impressive of the stars.

The Toronado got a nice step up from Frankie Avalon Jr to Deborah Moore.

While the Toronado was suppose to be a sporty coupe, the 88 Royale was suppose to be more of a family car what says family more than Abigal Rockwell's grandfather.

I was only able to find commercials for one more model the Cutlass Supreme, however there are 3 different Celebrities children for this car so it might have stolen the starts from other cars.

We'll start with the guy who has a deal for you and Monty Halls son Richard. They left off his last name so possibly Monty's illegitimate son.

In addition for the coupe they need someone to show how advanced the cutlass supreme was with amazing futuristic features like a computer. Nothing says future like the daughter of a guy who was in a scifi show in the 60s.

For the four door they went a different direction. The Dad in this commercial actually was featured more than their kid. Not only did he take up most of the screen time, but he said one catch phrase and sang the other.

I know some of you are saying with ads like these its no wonder Oldsmobile is no longer with us, but they lasted a long time after this, and its still more entertaining than most of the car commercials know which give you a bunch of facts to make their car seem better than the competition, well as long as you don't look at the other facts that prove its worse.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Thems the Brakes

In a continuation of the I really should have posted this 2 weeks ago series, Here is the autopsy of the front brakes after the race.

For those who didn't make it through the last post (with how long it was I can't blame you) we ran the hour and half with the front brakes squeeling pretty bad.  So the Saturday after the race we decided to see just how bad it was.  When we removed the front wheels this is what we saw.

Probably a good thing I tried to not use the brakes at all last stint.

The pads we used were Hawk HPS.  We used these  last year and they did pretty well and when we inspected them they still had roughly half their material left.  So we figured we were going to the same place and just moving about 100 feet from where we raced last year, how different could it really be.

Well I guess about this different

So I guess we will actually start listening to everyone on the forum and actually look into buying real endurance racing pads, along with decent tires.  The odd part is that both Porterfield and Carbotech seem to actually stock pads for A-bodies.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Semi official Showroom-Schlock Shootout writeup thing

Well its been two weeks so I guess one of us should actually do a writeup for the last race. (and it doesn't look like anyone else is going to do it)

The race weekend started with me getting up way to early on Friday. It was dark. My car was stuffed full of a bunch of random stuff, and Albert showed up ready to tow the car so we can get there as the gates are opening, which pretty much worked out since we pulled up just as the gates were suppose to let people in. we park and get out and get in the line to find out that if you weren't paying the money for testing you couldn't go in. so we took the time to talk to people and about the time the judges came in blasting Nazareth out of the to be reviewed charger I got hungry and went to grab some cookies to spread around. the cookies i guess worked since somehow I started moving up in the line by just giving them to people. Eventually they let us not paying in and we found ourselves a pit spot and started to setup.

We got the car off the trailer and emptied of all the stuff that doesn't need to be in it for tech just about the time that they were ready to start tech. Unfortunately Pete wasn't there with half the bribe yet, Luckily he wasn't far and i think pretty much once he got out of the car we made him take out the bribe and hit tech. We had the honor(?) of being teched by Evil Genius. The Evil One (TEO) made a comment about our car sounding like nascar as we pulled up. Then went about checking the car out. Having me strap in while asking me to do thing that are difficult to do while strapped in like pop the hood, TEO pronounced 2.8 Liter Multi Port Fuel injected? And we confidently said Yeah (60 Degree V6 Represent Yo)
The rest of it went pretty easily. Our exhaust made him exclaim brilliant, No idea why since its pretty non exciting, Although you never know what came through tech before us, maybe simple and boring is brilliant compared to some of the others. We ended up being told to duct tape the area that was cut in the doors for the door bars so it doesn't cut us or the suits, mainly the suits cause they are expensive. That and a compliment on the cars cage a prep saying we read and understood the rules (There being rules was news to us also).

Actually this was a huge relief after last years cage conversations. The new TEO seal of approval makes me feel much better about the cage, at least until the rules are reworked again.

 BS once again went way to easily. They took the Cheese Cake and Cookies before we even made it through tech, and the beer and some root beer during tech.

We were stopped barely long enough to get the bribe stencil and we were back in class c with 0 laps.

So the rest of the day was getting the gear teched which Jay commented on my "professional helmet graphics"
We setup camp and walked around and talked with the other teams.  Talked with Team Resignation to tell them our cage passed with compliments and since they had the same cage builder they should be good.  This I thought would calm them but they had a different problem, their car hadn't arrived.  Their arrived well within time for teching it unlike Speedcop and his gang of outlaws.  when we talked to them that night not only had their car not arrived but they hadn't talked to the guy who owns it.   They were amazingly calm about it. While their first alternative the imaginary car didn't pass tech.
They had been looking at some local cars and found a dirt track nova that just needed a few minor things (engine put back together, to find a drive shaft for it and then whatever they would find once they bought it.   However they finally go a hold of the impala wagon owner and they promised to be there by 7 am on saturday.

Race Saturday starts with a drivers meeting which was pretty standard except with Jay telling us all to ignore some JackA$$ who was saying something that was the opposite of whatever he just said.  Also the track guy said they would like to do 2 races next year?  We'll just have to wait to see if it works out though.

With the meeting done we casually walk back to the pits and shove Duff in the car.
Even with our incredible casual non rushing pace we cruised around under yellow for a real long time as cars fail before the green.  While waiting I start talking with one of the guys that are pitted across from us.  their intrepid started making lots of "Bad" noises during testing yesterday (the reason we avoid testing) and they were expecting it not to last long and the long yellow before the race was worrying him.  The race did go green and a couple laps later it went yellow as they had to tow in the intrepid.  Which shortly after got this sign on it
The did win the I got screwed trophy for their 2 laps though.

The rest of the stint went pretty eventful less,  So I guess Duff and the Cutlass have finally made up and decided to play nice unlike last year.

So out goes Duff, in goes Albert.

Albert was putting down some good laps until he called in about a tire he felt was going flat and before he could make it around to get to the pits it blew out. (around 10:39)

luckily no damage was done to us or anyone else and the made it back to the pits leaving chunks of the tire as it went.

So we swap tires, and drivers and Pete Goes out and has a nice uneventful stint

Then my turn came up and while the front tires were pretty well getting worn especially the front left but I take it out and try and conserver the tires as long as we can.

Mine goes pretty uneventful and we start the order all over again.

Duff goes out and after a bit of confusion over wave byes during a yellow he gets black flagged for passing under yellow, then Albert goes by with a good stint and in goes Pete who spins into the grass.(around 18:10)

Pete goes in claims his guilt and the powers that be take pitty on him and let him go and he finishes his second stint, and I go in with some pretty not good front tires again.  I decide to take it easy on them and just finish the day, knowing we only had 2 good tires left that were mounted thought we would save them and find somewhere to mount the 3 tires we had from last year that weren't mounted.

While Causally driving trying to stay out of people way most of the time.  I did kind of miss Skid marks racing going beneath us which ended up getting me called in for a black flag where they thought we had contact.  There wasn't and I didn't actually think it was that close and I guess neither did Skid mark, but after an inspection of our car without any damage and both our stories matching and the lack of damage on either car we were allowed back on the track to finish the day. (about 2:15)

Saturday was more talking giving away of cookies and beer and general good time with the other teams. Speedycops wagon finally showed up shortly before the checkered flag needing lots of work done to it. so we helped get it off the trailer and pushed to where it was going to be worked on.

Sunday started pretty much the same as Saturday, quick drivers meeting, Casually strapping in Duff and send him on his way. Pete and i went looking for somewhere for us to get our tires mounted. Luckily we found a team to do it at the track but while they were working on it theire was a call from their team that they needed hammers for the car. That is never good so we figured we would leave the tires and go back later. So after Albert switched into the car Duff and I went back and picked up the tires for a completely reasonable mounting charge. The stints all went pretty well at this point and uneventful. When mine came around I noticed if I pushed hard on the brakes started to get a bit of a wobble. Figured we finally started warping the brakes I thought to try and take it a bit easier on them to let them cool. Even with that my stint ended with a bit of confusion as everyone stopped on the back straight. it seems that it ended because the red Fiesta lost one of its back wheels. Duff took his stint and had another mistaken contact. 1st for the day so judges really didn't work to hard on it, but how they approached it with another look at the car and no damage either there were a number of mistaken calls being made out there or they believe our car is indestructible. (Personally I beleive that the other cars where scared of the Oldsmobile's awesomeness and jump away from it making them believe there was contact) but we were put back on the track quick enough. Albert wasn't feeling well so Pete took the next stint and came in with the brakes squeeling pretty bad. With about an hour left figured we could nurse them the rest of the way. Albert went in for a short stint, and while trying to limp the Cutlass home It appears the Impala wagon had enough of this race and committed suicide.

The corner works decided that both us and white trash racing should get a by on that little trip into the grass so no black flag. We switched drivers again and I drove slow and tried to not ever touch the brakes and brought the car home with a 48th out of 98 cars and 4th in class c,  and taking the checkered flag and getting the high 5's and the applaud coming off made it feel like we accomplished something incredible.

So park the car and walk over to the awards. Honestly was a bit of disappointed in the Safety Vehicles getting the grassroots motorsports award thinking we might have had an outside shot at it, but if you are going to lose atleast lose to something funny right. That was then followed by Speedcop get screwed out of the got screwed, and all the rest that can be read here

So it got to the big prize the IOE.

Jay starts out with how hard a decision it was, which I knew it would be, Team Lemonade had another amazing race in the 3 cylinder Metro followed closely by the big old Olds 98.

He then went on how this car was probably taken out of some grandmothers garage. Hey our car was literally taken out of a grandmothers garage, but Jay doesn't know that so yeah whatever.

They ran here last year and was in the running for the index there, hmm we were here last year, which other teams were here last year too...

They ran all weekend under the radar just kept putting up laps,  I wonder how many times they lapped us

The winner of the Index of Effluency, Racing 4 Nickels and the Murph and the Magictones Cutlass Ciera, Wait What?!?!?!?

After that was a blur of handshakes and congratulations  in which we somehow got a trophy and a check(still wish it was nickels but I guess we have something to still work towards) and a bunch of pictures and more congratulations.

 I guess thats about it.  Although I doubt anyone has made it to read it all the way down here.  But if anyone does I guess I'll conclude this with the old Cutlass Ciera did good and will return next year.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Want to Experience the Thrill of an IOE Victory?

Now you can!

From the comfort of your own home we put you in the Race Car!

Experience, going 4 wheels off, blowing out a tire, avoiding spun out cars on the track, and more.

Start right now!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

And the Real Winner Is......

Racing 4 Nickels ,

we won the the Index of Effluency (IOE)

If you don't know what that is here is how it is listed in the Lemons Rule Book.

"Recipient of the highest score in the Index of Effluency--as determined by a super-secret equation including vehicle age, general hooptieness, reliability of country of origin, unlikelihood of success, and the Organizers' whim--is the Winner on Index." - 24 Hours of Lemons, Rules, Section 1.5.
Check out the write up here; 

Friday, October 7, 2011

Race Weekend!

Well it is finally here, the car and most of the team are at the track for Tech and BS.

I got a call that the Car has passed tech, didn't get any info on how BS went, but I'm sure they would have said something if we were given laps. Right????

Don't expect we will be updating again until after the race.

Wish us luck!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Half Price Pick N Pull Weekend

Since it was half price weekend at the Pick N Pull, we decided to see if we could find the stiffer springs that came as the FE3 suspension option on the GM A body cars.

Most of what we found in the yard were cars with the same suspension package that we had on our car FE1, but about half way through the GM side of the yard we found this Fiero GT;
  IMG_1962 IMG_1964 IMG_1963

Not any parts we could use from the Fiero but it was one of the more interesting car that we saw.

We kept finding FE1 suspensions on the cars we found and were almost at the last row when we saw it!


A 1990 Chevy Celebrity Eurosport Wagon!

No need to even check the codes, eurosports came standard with the FE3 suspension

IMG_1966 IMG_1967 IMG_1971
Nice Trunk Release modification.

IMG_1969 IMG_1970 

The rear springs are not that hard to get out, you just need to disconnect the  top of the rear shocks and the rear end will drop and the springs come out.


  The Springs freed from the Car

So we paid 1/2 price and when home to instal them, here is a picture of the FE1 and FE3 spring sitting next to each other


The FE3 Spring is on the Left and FE1 on the right, it is hard to tell in the picture but the FE3 spring is shorter then the FE1

Got the new springs back on the car and the rear end is noticeably stiffer.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

A little touch up work

Since Pete has the brake pads up in Pseudo-Wisconsin I thought I could get some other minor things taken care of, mainly touchup some paint that we ripped off from duct taping some stuff on the front, and remove Patrick from the car since he is driving for another team to make room for Albert's.

All in all looking over the paint, the purple has held up rather well, esp

ecially for it just being high gloss latex house paint. For other teams debating what to paint with, have to say house paint actually works pretty well. A gallon of paint is way more than you'll need and be cheaper to paint the car with than a bunch of cans spray paint, or cans of rustoleum, and if you plan to change themes every couple years should last plenty long for that. Plus I think if I try I might be able to peel it all off in one sheet.

Anyway on to the pics.

Touched up the front, not really that great a job, but will work for 50 at 50.

Here is the door with last years line up

After a little paint(sorry Patrick) some time to dry and its all set for whatever name Albert decides should be painted on the side(figure give him the option to put a name that will allow him to deny he has anything to do with the car)

Saturday, August 20, 2011

a breath of fresh air.

Today I finally got around to doing an update that I wanted to do to this car before we even bought the car. Having figured out the budget for this year, and knowing that we have plenty of room to fit the $25 the Duff spent for this, I figured today would be a good day to put the new used intake in.

While before we bought the car it took several days and several people to take the stock one apart, I've since upgrade my tools to a decent socket set. (not a hand me down $9.99 made in Taiwan set) It even had the proper sized socket needed to take it apart. (5.5mm which incidentally is also the size you need to take the coils off the ICM) So it all came apart incredibly easy Did take a little bit of feeling around to remove the part that mounts to the body which was held on incredibly well for something that really doesn't need a lot of structural support to function. Although each componenet did seem to weigh as much as the new intake.

Putting the new one in was even easier. a few miuntes a couple of turns of a screw driver and its in and looks like its been there for years. I think the fact that its used gives it that not brand new part look.

The most important thing is that it sets a good example for the rest of the parts in the car. Give us trouble and and off the junkyard for you.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It's all custom and stuff.

Back in November I traded some interior pieces for a Strut bar to be made later. Later arrived this Sunday.

Unfortunately while Silent Wing and Luke from came over to work on it there was a work emergency that had me stuck inside. So no pictures of the work, but it did magically get built, and here is a pic of it after it was on the car.

Of course the first thing I do after the installation is take it off.

While the bare metal screams Lemons Fab work, I thought it would be best to get some paint on there before all the additional structural rigidity turns to rust.

So some Rustolium semi gloss spray paint that was on sale later.

And back on the car, where from a distance it looks nice, but up close where the judges would look its clearly homemade with a pretty awful spray paint job on it. Just what you want for Lemons.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Time For Some New Struts

So last year as we pulled the car off the trailer Judge Phil and Judge Sam came by to see the car and after pushing down on the hood and watching it bounce, they told us to go to the parts store and replace them. We told them we had replaced them and that these were better then what was on the car when we got it.
We did agreed that they should eventually be replaced, but decided to run with what was on the car.

Well eventually is here;


Look how shiny they are.

So we thought this should be pretty straight forward, at least more so then fixing our fuel system issues.

Compress the spring, undue the bolt at the top, insert new strut, tighten bold, reinstall


So the spring is compressed enough to remove the top plate, after some effort we get the nut off the top and then fine this;


The seal with the ball barrings in it was broken, little balls all over the driveway.

So before we took the 2nd one apart, we thought we would see what the cost of  a new part would be. If  I remember correctly the whole top plate was about $55.

But wait we have 2 even worse complete struts in the shed.

So we decided to remove the other strut from the car and would then take apart the 2 in the shed if we needed parts.

So we un-compressed the first spring,


This would come to be an issue later, but we were unaware of that at the time.

So we worked on the other strut, took the top plate off


Barrings intact :)

Put it all back together and installed it on the car.


We then take apart one of the even worse struts, and the top plate and barring are intact, go to compress the fully uncompressed spring and run into issues.

Our spring compressor can not compress the spring enough for us to install it on the new strut.

We decide to see if any of the auto repair shops in the area were still open, it was about 4p. Our odds that a reputable shop would be open were slim.

So we put the parts in the trunk and take a drive, the first place we stopped said they did struts on the sign on the outside, but the guy told us he didn't do struts.

So we drove off to somewhere else we though we may find some help, and spotted a garage that was open with 4 guys just sitting in one of the bays talking.

We get some strange looks as we pull up, but this is the place we needed to be.

The  one guy asked us if we had used a strut compressor before, and we said no.

None of the other guys sitting around had used it before, or just didn't want to help us.

So the first guy starting helping us until his "nephew" showed up with some bootleg movies, he then said if you do it your self its free.

Having see how the compressor worked we got the strut and the spring compressed, had to borrow some tools to get the nut on the top.

Thanked the guy and gave him $20 for the use of his shop as we walked out.

Got back to the car and installed it.

After we put the tires on and put it down , we pushed down on the front end and it sure dose bounce a lot less then it used too.